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The story of how I did June

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In my early twenties in Western Mass I did my first vipassana retreat. Back then, I tried to control my breathing instead of letting and watching my breathing breath me. Now, I find it fascinating to witness how my breathing is automatic. Yes, sometimes is it catching or holding? Sometimes it does help to take a deep breath in and a long breath out.

(Brag: not part of breathing though I did write a note to Ram Dass during this retreat and he wrote back. It was a silent retreat.)

I used breathing exercises as a way to survive this past June. It is mostly about how to be in my body. Every month is different. At the end of May, there was this thing that happened where my Over Soul became more relevant. It was felt more in my bones than before. So, how is this June painting talk about that?

In the center of the piece, which is usually the beginning somehow even though I don’t think about that when I start the watercolor, is a rainbow plasma type of energy, possibly a being from another place. There is a meeting of some sort of relevance regarding this time and place. Alot of attention is zeroed in on it. There is an underneath grounding of some Pegasai (any type of winged, horse, deer in various combination of that). It’s a meeting about the advancement of the starlighting process, connecting Nomi core earth all the way up to the high heavens and the bright flower gardens with a shield that is available now. This information mainly comes from E’Asha ArhAyas. And I must give credit where credit is due. E’Asha with the information she has been able to bring thru – not channeling! more like a scribe from the Guardians – NOT the galactic federation. big difference. see more at brightflowerstudios.com

There is a type of reaching, as deep as I can go, as far as I can reach…..And with this there has been an unleashing of golden orbs coming up from Nomi earth core and down from the Highland Heavens. Both of these places have been introduced and discussed at great lengths in the available DVD sets KDDL3 on the new website see above.

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ooops i was a bit of a glutton at market basket

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I prebought some ingredients for my birthday. I now realize I only required one bag of gluten free ginger snaps instead of the last two bags on the shelf. big face emoji here.

thank you coffee.

the pegasii, who I apparently know from another timespace ( 7652 bc in the center of median earth, a stepping stone off place at a different angular spin for the parts of this earth traveling to at some point – voyagers volume one by ashayana then deane) are a sentient race of a combination of horse,deer and bird (wings of the pegasii) are strongly part of my art team and come into sketches, onto pottery bowls and now plan to jump into smallish acrylic paintings.

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back to weekly posts hopefully

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photo of pink marbles on sink window

I am in the process of digital painting this last watercolor to be make into wallpaper for part of my wall somewhere and possibly a 50×50 inch scarf. Its Sunday and raining a bit, I have a pressure cooker of potatoes and boneless short ribs going.

things are starting to slow down on my tiny farm. Dan, the chicken Penny, cat Cho, Phoebe our 7 month boston terrier are unpacking things from a year ago speedily having to pack away. We are making a new dumpster pile, Yay I like getting rid of things.

my sisters strongarmed me into having to go to Erie, Pa in september to attend the next court hearing even tho they know I dont walk very well and use a cane and sometimes crutches. I am considering it a business trip and glad to finally get to meet my two pittsburgh lawyers. the suit is going on its fifth year for my fair share of inheritance.

i dont talk too much about details, nor the fire from last year because i am getting on with the peace of my life.

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spring is sprung

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movement is arriving

maybe i am thriving?

tho i dont feel it much, since my tractor is out in the back field since autumn. the snow has only melted this week so i havnt trudged out there to see whether the tires require pumping.

i dont have time for capitalization or proper punctuation.

i am too busy feeling my feelings.

and preparing inside to begin the move from trailer back to unfinished house by April 15th.

its been an intense month of IFS work (internal family systems work – Shwartz) in combination with Cory Muscara meditation work. A blessing and alot of f…..ing work.

a snow drop i planted two years ago and planned to plant for 15 years sprung up. A yellow crocus I did not plant and must’ve started from seed years ago bloomed and Phoebe pushed it into the dirt this morning. 12 turkeys came by my front door.

I started punctuating some words so I must be gettting some of my groove back.

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the above artwork has been made into a 50×50 inch chiffon scarf or window hanging here: $47 right now but the price might go up to $60 sometime.

http://Singingland-studios.printify.me

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Let’s Pretend

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–THAT time is happening all at once, that there is an eternal self-portion that never left the starting gate, that we can access this part of ourselves in our immaculate state.*

It can be found within the ManU* still point. Ask to be shown where in your body to find the still point?

A state of bliss –

being with all that is because besides eternal connection with Source, everything is transient.

finding a still point where the eternal self resides.

Allow alot of love and grace to be within gratitude as well as all your parts; the frozen, protector parts, the subconscious, the Spirit body, the mental, emotional, physical bodies, the plasma body.

keep becoming stiller still.

rest in this place.

*E’Asha Ahrayas.com

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we are not Alone

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speaking about the painting process and encountering spirit forms

There are three lions in this piece. I have come to view lions as a type of dragon called a bhendi. They come of their own accord to lend support. It appears in this piece, I am getting freer from the four year court battle with my sisters, the elephant as the remover of obstacles, the pig as my lawyers rooting out the details of the case. All in all, I say “release” to the sisters.

The images came on their own I consider them nature spirits with their own real kind of energies. I do not own them, nor would I copyright them. Instead, I use the images as material to redraw and paint on my pots, my pottery practice.

In today’s thirty minute Open the Heart meditation with Cory Muscara, we focus on the phrase “may I be free.” I was surprised to see I can release the idea of making prints to sell or getting a new printer and even working on the acrylic canvases. So, relief then in being able to work on the pieces for material without having to get them print ready. It is enough to see them, the images.

Also, new to my scene is possibility of painting on my teacher, Jenny Graf’s greenware. Phoebe, my Boston Terrier and I are planning to drive the three miles down to Purple Sage Pottery to pick up one of her vases. She had told me yesterday it had been asking for something for its exterior.

I got them, they are the two taller vases: please turn your head, the image will not rotate –

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Am I Keeping the Light On?

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I am not breathing fully. I am getting used to the idea that my son is hopefully safely at a shelter, though I wouldn’t know for certain because he is not allowed to be in touch with me since he set my house in fire. His father is holidaying in Brazil for two months. I feel triggered every time I have to deal with my three lawyers (one to become executor of my brothers estate and two beloved Pittsburgh lawyers ongoing court dates to take back my inheritance my sisters felt were theirs because they were executors and said they could do whatever they wanted – ignore the wills of both parents of one fifth between five children. It is criminal what they did.)

I continue to paint and work on my new pots. I still teach music. I got a new puppy. God is still good. The positive context of the eternal is still real to me. MRWS, my relationship with Source is still my operatus.

And I am getting help and support. I am starting Cory Mascara’s two-month intensive program to sit and be with the feelings from now and way back in the past. There are daily meditations, three-hour meditations and seven-hour meditations. Plus, a support group on What’s app of people that have gone through this program.

Cory has a daily podcast.  Today he said “what if everything that seems to be falling  apart is actually falling in place?”

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Selkies & Swan Maidens

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There is a swan on the inside of the bowl. I am still painting this pot to be ready for bisque firing next week.

I was planning on adding more animals except when I stopped to look at the symbolisms of both swan and seal it became quite the story. Here it goes –

they both symbolize luminality, the spaces inbetween. they are shapeshifters, seal to selkie, the mermaid of median earth, the kavo and the swan to the swan maiden, the one that can get captured in marriage (it happened to me tho i went willingly, and the pictures before the wedding had me on a staircase holding one wing of a swan – maybe I can find that photo once we move back into our house).

They both are otherworld messengers, and when together in an artform symbolize grace, emotional endurance and adaptability.

The swan on the inside –

The new coyote underglazes came from Dick Blick. I will paint this pot and bisque it soon.

There has been some emotional

endurance and adaptability issues involved in my life this week. My kind car, broken, left me in a safe place whilst the front axle broke and landed on the ground. Midas quoted me 6 thousand dollars to fix and to fix unnecessary front brakes and exhaust system (both replaced over past 6-7 years). While waiting for a tow truck to take my car from Midas, I had to stand in the lobby for over an hour contemplating how to be both compassionate while angry.

I haven’t had a bath in over seven months due to my house being rebuilt after a May fire. A bath is one of my arsenals for healing. I ordered and have two free standing tubs under tarps awaiting new use.

I still feel gifted and blessed for having my dog, Phoebe enter my life at this time.

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Wisdom of the Future informs body

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This is Phoebe. She came to me. She has been coming to me since last November. I didnt know I was looking for her but I was. I lost my half boston terrier/pug “Bugg” last July. She was 14. My best girl.

If you have been following for any length of time. It is known that my artwork informs my life. It is thru the process of Spirit Intelligence. This comes from elementals in the water of my paint, krystic beings, and most importantly thru the intelligence of the Spirit in All things.

Here is the pot I made in November 2025. It now feels like this is Phoebe being portrayed. I had a dream in December that I was getting a puppy. She was born sometime in October.

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I believe that the Spirit wisdom was flowing through my present informing my future. Cory Muscara of the Practicing Human Spotify free podcast restarted last week after a year break speaks about the wisdom of the body. I highly recommend his meditations.

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This is on the other side of the Phoebe face. Months ago I heard my rabbit say to me and this horse on the pot “I will go. And when I do, there will be a new dog for you.”

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I Kept Digging

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after the snowstorm drive early last Sunday morning, I kept wondering Why? (besides toughening me up to driving in said weather to make it to both my second semester in pottery and the first of the month Irish Session at the Port Tavern in Newburyport with Eamon Coyne).

in order to dig deeper (this was message from tarot readings after visiting the french bull dog I had already named “Phoebe” even though Tru , his other nickname I gave him as he had been previously named “Trooper” is a he) I had to go thru four other possible inquiries. In the way it occurred, I was offered a doodle dog, then turned away, I dug into the realization that yes, I would love another Boston Terrier after all. And also, I decided against getting a rescue dog.

Through a string of seemingly random movements, I think I may have ended up with the true dog. In the process, I descended into doubt for too long and then had to consciously release some kind of astral demonic sucker on thing that showed up in this latest painting. As per usual, once I spot a demon, I can release it by covering it over in white and silver watercolor, saying “I release you” and also clearing my energy, my doubt, sadness, futility, desperation, basically all the heavy overstayed emotions that shout “come eat my loosh!” This is an ongoing event that I see no end to in this body, on this planet. Whilst I am on this planet and dealing with my emotions, sometimes, I just hit overwhelm and lose my clear state of being. It is a common occurrence, dare I say, I fear.

To bring things to the present, after three Boston Terrier inquiries I learned a lot. Possibly one was a scam, and I know a month ago while looking for a BT, I was approached in messenger and it was a scam. Don’t forget the name “Phoebe” as my life happened.

Backstory: I had picked up an Icelandic Sheepdog and brought her home. I asked my son what to name her. He said “Frida.” Six months later the breeder said oh I thought you named her Frida because her mother’s name is Disa Frida.

The fourth Boston Terrier breeder I found on the AKC website (discovered Through one of my phone calls with a Vermont breeder). She had one female left. She is only fifteen miles from me and the mother of the litter is Phoebe.

Phoebe

in that exact spelling. Not Phebe.

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Art that nurtures connection.

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Dig Deeper.

It was my Frenchie named Tru.

I thot it was a wombat in previous paintings and then the last two watercolors undeniably had French bull dogs.  Tru, my Frenchie found me.

tho, no. Dig deeper. Tru is not my dog.

I used to crave a French bull dog even amidst the love of my life Boston terrier, Rosie (1999-2010). And when she passed I gave up wishing for a Frenchie. I went a whole ‘nother direction with Frida (Icelandic sheepdog extrodinaire) and ZurE, the tiny “mini” of the litter.  She had been named Mini and prior all year before I had been naming many things, Mini. Even my new tractor and car.

I had also been painting small black dogs for ten years.  She came all black with a pig curly tail and a Boston terrier mixed in.

So, I revisited the idea of my very own Frenchie and drove in a snowstorm early this Sunday morning. He is a sweet dog. He also has a very large hematoma covering one ear. (cost 200-2000$). This would be on top of adoption fee which no one has told me, and I haven’t asked – somewhere between 565-765$ I am guessing.

so, ok. keep painting, keep dreaming, set up my squirrel feeding station, make needle felt balls for my cat, Cho.

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Dec 28th, 2025 – January 2026

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I’ve begun another watercolor. It is mostly started with blob shapes, circles that I keep adding outer circles of colors, dots and lines. This is where I commune with the Divine thru the elementals. Faces, animals, beings…..show up here and there, sometimes much, much later near completion. The ones I keep are the benevolent ones. Some come in as interference, twisted, reversed and curious. I call this my catch and release program. The kind of entities and astral bits come from being at the supermarket, my dreamstate in the astral, family lineages, trackers, fAtalE intruders and more. If they are nearby they seem to find the painting irresistible and show up thru the painting.

this painting below is about teamwork – my tribe; the elementals mostly I work with while painting and the creatures that live close by (chicken – Hannah the second, two sets of crows born here, deer, turkeys, squirrels, my cat) as well my partner going on 27 years. Painting and also now pottery making using the images from watercolors is my greatest adventure and ongoing accomplishment. I am feeling the loss of my two dogs (frida, icelandic sheepdog and zurE, my bugg, boston terrier/pug) being by my side constantly.

I think i will continue to blog regularly as i let it lapse last year.

i did have to do some releasing from above painting. And when i had it in my corel painter digital program, a dog appeared on the bottom right. This occurred minutes before my adoption coordinator from Sweet Paws texted me with two photos. One a chichuahua name Tobi (my nickname, means “to be”) and the second photo a french bull dog!…. I asked her to put me on the list for both and now I wait to hear where I am on the list of other waiters. Did my painting this dog forecast my Frenchie coming to me. And now let me post work in progress, is this Tobi the chihuahua? Am i painting wishful thinking in terms of a dream map or is this a true symbol from the elementals? there are two distinct “dogs” unless this is my old greyhound (Hailey, rescued 1985 – 1995 i dont know how old she was when I got her, it was a private rescue). I am aware of my previous dogs helping me as ancestors to usher in the next dog tribe.

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dogless?

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Strength

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pulling cards:

First card -where i was whilst starting painting? the Strength card (The Flow Tarot).

the quiet power, persistence, resiliency, my inner strength carries me.

Second card – What are we moving through? King of Swords (Ryder deck) & Ace of Pentacles (Ryder deck)

king of swords -truth, decisive action

Ace of Pentacles – earth – North, winter, midnight, New beginning, prosperity, tangible opportunities in the material world.

Third card – Moving to now? 7 of pentacles (Ryder deck) and Wombat (animal deck)

7 of pentacles – moment of pause, reflection, re-evaluating the harvest of my efforts before deciding on the next steps (ie – the re creating of the softie sculptures I used to make and sell, the weekly instagram reels Ive been doing to tell my story, buying a new epson ecotank printer to make my own 8×10 prints – these i have discovered at not to be right now)

The Wombat – digging deep for hidden truths, self-reliance, finding comfort within myself, grounding and developing my talents.

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now, the soup pot is steaming. we have managed past the big Christmas holiday of eating festival, and I am back to cleansing and simmering down. An ice storm is forcasted from ten pm tonight until Monday 7 pm, maybe an inch of ice? I had this painting mostly done prior although was working digitally to finish over the last two days after the big Christmas.

I use watercolor with a bit of pencil and pen to forecast, make known to me, divinate and then pull tarot cards. Then I take the whole piece into Corel paint to accentuate.

i havnt written in my blog since last May when there was a fire here. I painted about the fire one month before it happened.

This was a deep inquiry for me, this painting and tarot reading. I have pivotted in new ways again. Instead of the weekly instagram reels i plan to rather work on blog posts, using my painting and cards. I am honing again in on the paintings. When I look at what I would miss when i leave this earth plane I would sigh about not continuing and deepening and painting everyday. It gives me so much to think about, helps me clear outdated models and karma, it brings me closer to the elementals and my guides and guardians from many places. It grounds me.

plus my re emergence into pottery is exploding.

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fire horse year

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  • There are so many possibilities surrounding me

    And yet, to be still, quiet and cozy I
    May have to challenge the status quo

    In my inner place I can find resilience, quiet power and transformation

    The fire horse enters my noon and steps into some darkness to dispel, they appear as old patterns, shoulda and habits.

    Swiftly new ideas of direct expression rainbow rain down clinging to my life like fresh snowflakes on my garments I have sewn by hand.